Once the first flush of romance has passed, it’s easy to let your relationship get a little, er, flabby. So here are five sizzling ideas for getting it back in shape in 2012.

The person you fell in love with is not the same person today. Over time, they’ll have developed in ways you may never have envisaged. “And if you don’t pay attention to how both of you are changing, issues can surface,” says Kerryn Westhorpe, a Melbourne psychologist and relationships counsellor who’s seen her share of couples in meltdown. So what do you need to do to stay truly connected?

1. Plan time together

… time without kids, without extended family or the folks from around the corner. Sometimes it takes a little distance from everyday life – and time to focus on each other – to remind you of what brought you together. Plus it’s a chance to express your feelings without small people shrieking “Eeeuw!”

2. Plan time apart

Remember when the two of you weren’t joined at the hip – or the hip pocket? Kerryn suggests that you can both bring richness to your relationship by taking up a new hobby, gaining new skills and surprising your other half (in a good way, of course).

3. Break the routine

Mix things up with an impromptu bike ride on a glorious day, or a trip to a market on the other side of town. Today’s adventures are the stuff of which lasting memories are made.

4. Show some respect

“Listen to how you really talk to your partner,” says Kerryn. “We’re often polite to colleagues and strangers, but it’s easy to forget to do the same for our partners.” Be respectful of your differences. And be thankful. A small gesture of thanks, whether it’s saying thankyou for emptying the cat litter, cooking a nice meal or just being there goes a long way.

5. Share your dreams

Sharing this essential part of you helps create true intimacy. Spend time working out what you want to achieve together too – whether it’s a healthy and happy family, a tree change or a retail empire. Working together towards a goal will help strengthen the other bonds you have.